Have You Truly Forgiven Them?

A while back, I went through a particularly tough situation.  I shared some things with people I thought I could trust, but they used my pain as a weapon to tease me behind my back and shared my personal stuff. I was so upset! What’s even worse is that they didn’t care what they did and thought it was funny.

Every time I saw them after that, I was short, dismissive, sarcastic, and even annoyed. Deep down, I was angry, but I knew they were too stubborn to apologize or even talk about how much they hurt me. The anger just kept building up, and I started avoiding them completely. But here’s the crazy thing: no matter how angry I got, their attitude never changed. I was the only one avoiding church because I was hurt, but they were living their lives serving in ministry like nothing happened. I felt like I was trapped in my own mind, needing to be set free.

I didn’t know how to tell them how much they hurt me. I was walking like I forgave them, but inside, I was still stuck in the pain of yesterday. Forgiveness is really for us, especially those of us who are still bound by the hurt they caused. It frees us from negative emotions like anger and resentment, which helps us find more peace.

By forgiving them, I wasn’t saying they were okay or forgetting what they did. I just needed to heal from those betrayal wounds so I could be free from the negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that came with the perpetrator and their actions. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

I understand the pain of being trapped by the actions of others. God desires our freedom from bondage. Holding onto hurt and anger over their words and deeds not only affects our spiritual well-being but also our mental and physical health. Unforgiveness breeds bitterness and hinders our ability to receive God’s blessings. Forgiveness is a liberating act that frees us from the emotional chains of past hurts.

Choosing to forgive is a testament to spiritual maturity and obedience, deepening our connection with God and bringing inner peace and healing. It acknowledges that vengeance belongs to God, not to us.

By Sandra Jean Charite